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Good Enough Parenting

“Good Enough Parenting” (GEP) is the signature programme of HOPE worldwide Singapore. It is an evidence-based programme which has transformed the lives of thousands of families in Singapore and abroad, by empowering parents to meet their children’s “Core Emotional Needs”, avoid “Exasperation Interactions”, cultivate “Nurturing Interactions”, build “Intrinsic Values and Community” as well as “Repair and Reconnect” with teenagers and adult children.

The programme draws from principles of Schema Therapy, utilises Movie Therapy® and offers a step-by-step guide for parents to learn how to raise emotionally healthy, successful and resilient children.

There are now over 1,000 trained Facilitators from Asia, Europe, Nigeria, Kenya, South Africa, Central & South America, North America and Australia. “Good Enough Parenting” is a trademark in the United States and in the process of being trademarked in Singapore.

More information can be found in this link: www.gep.sg.

GEP Module Outline:

Gaining Awareness on Meeting Core Emotional Needs, Avoiding Exasperation Interactions with your Children and Cultivating Nurturing Interactions.

  • The introductory part provides an overview of research-based concepts such as: the importance of parents meeting their children’s Core Emotional Needs; how negative thinking patterns can be caused by well-meaning parents; and how temperament affects children’s Coping Styles.
  • The case that parenting matters will be presented with research findings. Parents will be assured that they do not have to be perfect, but good enough; however this level of competence involves training as most mistakes are unintentional.
  • Included in the research is the theory proposed by Dr. Jeffrey Young, the founder of Schema Therapy: when Core Emotional Needs are not adequately met in children, this leads to the formation of negative schemas or lifetraps (distorted thinking about self and others).
  • A section on the introduction of the ten Exasperation Interactions and the seven Nurturing Interactions will follow. Each of them will be described in detail with appropriate movie scenes. Parents will gain awareness of their own Exasperation Interactions as most of them are done unconsciously in a subtle and unintentional manner.
  • Group exercises on how to identify Exasperations Interactions and Nurturing Interactions and/or cartoons will be conducted. Using our trademark Movie Therapy, key teaching points are interspersed with impactful movie scenes to create self-awareness and bring about positive change.

Helping Your Children Feel Connected and Accepted through Spending Regular One-on-One Time and Processing Emotions.

  • This session begins with the definition of the Core Emotional Need for Connection and Acceptance, and what children will experience if this need is not met adequately, namely, Disconnection and Rejection.
  • The three unhealthy Coping Styles based on Schema Therapy will be discussed in order to help parents gain awareness on how they or their children respond to parent-child interactions and life situations.
  • Positive schemas of Emotional Fulfillment, Social Belonging, Emotional Openness and Spontaneity, and Healthy Self-Interest / Self-Care will be presented in-depth. These positive schemas will be strengthened in children when parents consistently meet this Core Emotional Need.
  • Group exercise on how to process emotions will be introduced. Parents will leave the session with very practical steps to take home, such as how to spend quality time with their children, which will ensure they will be able to meet this Core Emotional Need.

Healthy Autonomy and Performance: Giving Your Children the Gift of Self-Esteem and “Age-Appropriate” Autonomy and Performance

  • This session begins with the definition of the Core Emotional Need for Healthy Autonomy and Performance, and what children will experience if this need is not met adequately, namely, Impaired Autonomy and Performance. It is important to allow children to develop a sense of being a “separate self” and to perform tasks their peers are performing.
  • Positive schemas of Healthy Self-Reliance/Competence, Healthy Boundaries/Developed Self and Stable Attachment will be presented in-depth. These positive schemas will be strengthened in children when parents consistently meet this Core Emotional Need.
  • Parents will leave the session with very practical steps to take home, such as how to: ensure basic safety and providing age-appropriate choices; pick the “right battles”; communicate like they are on the same team; develop intrinsic motivation; and instill optimism. These practical tips will ensure they will be able to meet this Core Emotional Need. Using our trademark Movie Therapy, key teaching points in this session are interspersed with impactful movie scenes to create self-awareness and bring about positive change.

Reasonable Limits: Establishing Boundaries and Expecting Cooperation While Maintaining a Good Connection

  • This session begins with the definition of the Core Emotional Need for Reasonable Limits, and what children will experience if this need is not met adequately, namely, Impaired Limits. It is important for children to be given boundaries and expected to be “good citizens” in their homes, in their schools and in society.
  • Positive schemas of Success and Healthy Self-Control/Self-Discipline will be presented in-depth. These positive schemas will be strengthened in children when parents consistently meet this Core Emotional Need.
  • Parents will be guided on how to differentiate between Rights, Privileges, Needs and Wants and how to communicate these concepts with their children. They will be given practical tips on how to avoid unintentional conflicts or ‘vortex’ as they establish limits and boundaries. It is also important for them to learn how to engage cooperation and how to enforce discipline through effective timeouts, removing of privileges and use of rewards.
  • Group exercises will be introduced, and parents will leave the session with very practical steps to take home, which will ensure they will be able to meet this Core Emotional Need. Using our trademark Movie Therapy, key teaching points in this session are interspersed with impactful movie scenes to create self-awareness and bring about positive change.

Realistic Standards and Reciprocity: Treasuring Your Children’s Gifts, Replacing Your Unrelenting Standards with Healthy Motivation

  • This session begins with the definition of the Core Emotional Need for Realistic Standards and Reciprocity, and what children will experience if this need is not met adequately, namely, Excessive Responsibility and Standards. It is crucial that children are not made to feel that they have to attain perfection, by their parents, their schools or the society.
  • Positive schemas of Realistic Expectations, Emphatic Consideration, Self-Directedness, Self-Compassion and Basic Healthy and Safety/Optimism will be presented in-depth. These positive schemas will be strengthened in children when parents consistently meet this Core Emotional Need.
  • Parents will be equipped on how to identify their children’s gifts and talents, through the concept of Multiple Intelligences. They will be guided on how to recognise efforts versus results, how to set learning-oriented rather than performance-oriented goals, and how to motivate underachievers. More importantly, parents will learn how to emphasize on their children’s strengths, and celebrate when there is progress.
  • Group exercises will be introduced, and parents will leave the session with very practical steps to take home, which will ensure they will be able to meet this Core Emotional Need. Using our trademark Movie Therapy, key teaching points in this session are interspersed with impactful movie scenes to create self-awareness and bring about positive change.

Intrinsic Values and Community: Helping Children Espouse Positive Values and Building a Functional Community

  • This session emphasizes the importance for parents to demonstrate and inculcate intrinsic values in their children. When this need is met, it will have a huge impact in the way children view themselves and others, their perception on what is right from wrong, and their view of relationship conflicts and taking correction.
  • As the famous saying goes, “it takes a village to raise a child”, in this session parents will learn the significance of building a functional community, where they could rope in other healthy adults, along with adolescent peers, to make up for what may be lacking in the parent-child relationship.
  • More practical tips will be presented to support parents on how to shape their children’s values and belief system, and how to build a functional community with other like-minded individuals. Using our trademark Movie Therapy, key teaching points in this session are interspersed with impactful movie scenes to create self-awareness and bring about positive change.

Repair and Reconnect: Learning How to be Vulnerable to Build an Atmosphere of Forgiveness and Reconciliation at Home.

  • In this session, parents will learn how to Repair and Reconnect a fractured relationship, especially with their adolescents. This is done by empowering both adolescent and parent on how to be vulnerable with each other, where they can express their weaknesses, feelings and needs, and apologizing where necessary, instead of entering into a Vortex of Conflict Escalation, or destructive conflicts.
  • Parents will be introduced to the concept of Forgiveness as a key element to Repair and Reconnect. When unforgiveness builds up because of unresolved conflicts, it can take its toll on the health and well-being of parents and children. It is therefore crucial for parents to learn genuine forgiveness that promotes healing and reconciliation.
  • Group exercises will be introduced and parents will leave the session with more practical skills. Using our trademark Movie Therapy, key teaching points in this session are interspersed with impactful movie scenes to create self-awareness and bring about positive change.

Clinicians Testimonials

Parents Testimonials

To view other testimonies in Singapore, please visit: https://www.gep.sg/local.

Engage Us

GEP can be delivered as a workshop style: full programme or stand-alone sessions (2-3 hours per module).

Couples or families may also attend individual sessions with GEP-accredited facilitators or counsellors to learn GEP principles in-depth. Hourly rate applies for individual sessions.

Please contact Rebekah Lai at 6312 9671 or email: Rebekah_Lai@hopewwsea.org for further enquiries.